Desiring God

         Today was one of the first days in a long time where I actually had free time on my hands - a LOT of free time. I slept in; I didn't have to dress up at all- I really enjoyed that part! I did a little bit of work and spent quality time with loved ones. But if I may be honest, I slept most of the day. I slept for so long that I lost track of what day it was. I would even wake up, motivate myself to do something productive, then go back to sleep from exhaustion (I guess my brain was still operating in weekend mode). The few times I did get up were to utilize the bathroom or to satisfy my midday munchies.
         We all have days like this right? Thank God for breaks from our busy schedules! It's good to be able to relax and have no worries at all. However, I am sure that God would have liked a bit more of my time today. I spent time with him, but not nearly as much as I could have or should have. With all of the obligations that are piled on my plate each day, having hours upon hours of time to do nothing but spend time with God rarely happens. So when I have a day like this, why is it so hard to get totally emersed in the presence of God? Even now, as I write this, I am struggling to maintain my focus and not check my phone for texts or updates from social media. It's very frustrating. The one thing I really want is the one thing I'm keeping myself from - rest.
         True rest. Only God can give us that. We can only know this peaceful rest if we have a personal relationship with him. We build that relationship with God by saturating our spirits with prayer, but most importantly with his word. That's where we learn the character of God, the heart of God. We cannot neglect our studies of God and his word. It is in those moments where we haven't fed on much scripture that the daily bread is greatly needed. We want to be prepared.
        Reading my Bible is not always the most exciting thing on my radar. There are times where I don't feel like reading at all because by nature, my flesh doesn't desire to be in the presence of God. It seems like when I want to read, so many other things immediately come to mind that jump to the top of my priority list. Every day is a constant battle of the mind. A close friend told me, "When I don't feel like I can read or pray, I pray and then I read anyway!"

         That is my encouragement to anyone who may have found themselves in a similar place in your walk with God. Pray, then read anyway! We don't always like to go to school or work. We don't always like to clean or cook. There's a list of things we would much rather do than the very things we know we ought to do. But just like we have to train ourselves to do certain things, like waking up early each morning, we must train our spirits as well. Reading the Word feels like veggies to a toddler at times- it doesn't always taste good to our prideful, unrighteous spirits. However, as we continue to grow and cry out to God to give us a desire for his presence, it will stop feeling so much like a chore and more like an undeserved, glorious privilege to come before the throne of God through the reading of his Word.
        May this be your prayer today. If you are struggling to get into your Bible, pray that God helps you to see the beauty and power that lies within its pages then READ! You'll never increase your appetite to want to read more if you never read.
         Be encouraged!